Chapter One-
My life began when Mom brought my baby sister home from the hospital.
Well, actually it began five years before that, but there was little of importance in my toddler days before I met Maggy. I don't remember much Pre–Maggy, to be honest. Only a few things. I had a best friend named Jacqueline who hated the color pink and being called Jack. Mom and Dad were good parents and I was overall a good child. My temper tantrums were rare and never lasted more than five minutes. But my real memories began on the night of May 5th.
"Nana is going to stay with you tonight," Daddy told five-year-old me, quickly tying on his shoes. He stuffed his phone in his back pocket of his jeans. It dinged and he whipped it out again, frowned, and shoved it back into his Levi's.
"Where's Mama?" I asked, plucking a green crayon from my box of Crayolas.
"She's at the hospital," Daddy said, turning in circles to see if he'd forgotten anything. He rubbed his chin which was spotted with scratchy hair that itched my face when he bent down to kiss me. "Nana should be here soon, okay?"
"Okay," I repeated, trading my green crayon for a yellow.
"Be a good girl for Nana, Copeland," Daddy mussed my hair and I stuck my tongue out as Nana came in the back door.
"Thank goodness you're here, Pearl," Daddy said. Nana smiled at me and waved. I waved and motioned to my coloring book.
"Tell Emma that I'm very happy for her, Hugh," Nana said.
"Will do. Copeland, be good," Daddy repeated. And then he left, the door slamming behind him. Nana sat down beside me, where I was all stretched out across the floor. I'd always thought that she was a very pretty woman. Her hair was a creamy blond with a tint of silver. Mama got her blond hair from her mother. So did I. But Nana's eyes were different from mine. She had big green eyes that crinkled lightly at the corners where my eyes were small and a steely blue-gray. Nana always wore long sleeves too, even when it was summer in our town, Ashdown, Arkansas, to cover up her forearm. When I asked her why, she pulled up her sleeve to show me a picture inked onto her skin. It was of a daisy. She called it a tattoo.
"When you get older, Copeland," she told me, "make sure you understand what you're getting into before you get into it. You can only have so many regrets. Every action has a consequence, whether it's a good one or a bad one."
Thinking back know, I wonder if she meant it as more than just getting a tattoo.
"What're you drawing a picture of?" Nana asked me.
I stuck my tongue out of the corner of my mouth, concentrating. "It's a kitty for my sister." I grabbed a brown crayon.
"That's beautiful, Copeland. She'll love it."
I nodded. She would.
After a few more minutes of Nana watching me color, I put down my crayon and sat up. "Nana," I began. "What is a sister like?"
Nana gathered me up into her lap and rested her back against the coffee table. Her fingers laid open, flat on my lap and I twined my own through them. Nana's hands looked so beautiful with her manicured nails and rings. My nails were stumpy and gnawed at.
"Copeland," she said. "A sister is a wonderful thing. A sister is your closest friend, even if you don't realize it. A sister is there to laugh with you, cry with you, go crazy with you, and to argue with you. She'll look up to you more than you ever know. She'll come to you about the fights that she and her friends are having, and what to do about the boy she likes."
"Icky!" I squealed.
Nana laughed. "You say that now, but give it some time."
"Parker De Luca is so mean!" I protested. "He pulls on my hair!"
Nana just smiled. "He likes you."
I shook my head. "We were talking about sisters," I reminded her.
Nana laughed again. "So we were. So we were."
She told me a lot of things that day. Multiple of which I forgot, but most of which I still remember. She told me to always love my sister, especially when we fight. She told me that having a sister would be one of the best things to ever happen to me.
It was the next day that Mama and Daddy came home. Nana and I were in the living room, reading a storybook, when the backdoor swung open.
"We're home!" Daddy declared, rushing over to me. he picked me up from Nana's lap and swung me around in the air as I shrieked.
"Hugh," Mom chastised gently, pointing to the carrier in her hands. I noticed the sleepy circles underneath her pretty eyes.
"Emma," Nana said, hurrying to give Mama a hug.
"Mom," my mother smiled, letting the carrier rest on the floor. It was strange to see my mother hugging her own mother. Especially since my real name was Emma, just like my mom. But since Copeland was my middle name, I just went by that.
"Hey, Copeland, baby," Mama cooed, looking at me. "Would you like to meet your new sister?"
Shyly, I nodded and slowly padded over to the carrier. Daddy stood behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. I peered down into the carrier and caught a glimpse of a tiny pink face with chubby cheeks. Two squinty gray eyes goggled at me. A small giggle bubbled up from a pair of small lips. I watched, transfixed.
"This," Mama told me, stroking my blond hair. "This is Margaret Pearl Kennedy."
"Margaret Pearl," I echoed.
Nana swiped at her eyes. "Pearl?"
Mama smiled. "After you, Mama."
"We're calling her Maggy for short," Daddy said.
Mama nodded. "So what do you think, Copeland, baby?"
I looked up at her. Her blue eyes were so round with hope and excitement and pride.
"I love her. I'm going to be the bestest big sister she'll ever have."
Mama's eyes filled with tears and she rested her hand on Daddy's chest. He wrapped his arm around her, laying his chin atop her head. I turned back to look at my new sister. Quickly, I raced back to the living room to grab my picture I'd colored for her.
"Here you go, Maggy." I placed the picture in her carrier and sat beside her. Even after Nana left later in the day, I still stayed there. I sat, watching. Watching the curl of Margaret Pearl's teeny fingers. Watching the flutter of her nearly invisible eyelashes. Watching the way her soft lips part to puff out a breath as she sleeps. I hope she dreamt well. As I watched, I wondered about so many things. What would her voice sound like? How would she look when she was five, like me? Would the love me the way I already loved her?
Would she really look up to me like Nana said?
"Copeland," Mama came up behind me. "It's late, baby. Time to go to sleep." she wore a long purple nightgown that hung around her ankles.
"I need to stay with Maggy," I whispered, but I couldn't hold in the yawn that forced its way through my lips. Mama gave me a knowing smile and reached for my hand.
"Maggy will be here tomorrow morning, okay? But big sisters need their sleep."
At that, I relented and Mama helped me get ready for bed while Daddy took care of Maggy.
Mama helped me into my favorite nightgown and she made sure I brushed my teeth for the appropriate three minutes. After that, we walked to my room and I switched on my fan and lamp. A dim glow painted itself across my pink walls. I snuggled into my blankets as Mama handed me my stuffed animal deer.
"Would you like a story tonight or a song?" Mama asked the usual bedtime question. Usually, I said story, but Nana and I had done an awful lot of reading while Mama and Daddy were at the hospital.
"Song," I concluded.
"Good choice." Mama smiled.
She said that every night too.
"Sleep, sweet dove
Angel of mine
I'll make you a promise:
Everything will be fine.
Sleep, precious one
Sleep, sweet dove
my little girl,
one that I love."
I loved that lullaby.
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